Bondage & Restraints Playtime Recommendations is excerpted from KINKology: the psychology of kink “Bondage and Restraints” episode.

LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE OF BONDAGE AND RESTRAINTS

Safe Use of Bondage and Restraints

When exploring bondage and restraints, safety, consent, and communication are paramount. Below are some effective safety tips & techniques:

Bondage Safety Essentials

1) Never leave a restrained person unattended. If you want them to experience crushing isolation, I recommend you set up a camera and leave a phone in the room with an active call on. And then monitor that camera and that phone call.
2) Check for circulation regularly and ensure the submissive can communicate easily. Move arms and extremities frequently.
3) Ensure the ropes/tape/binds/etc are not too tight and can be removed easily. Have all extraction tools needed available in in eyesight for the entirety of your play.
4) At no point should you EVER have both the mouth, and the nose, covered at the same time and I tend to want a hole poked through the mouth- just in case that little nose gets all stuffed up when you cry for me.
5) Always ensure the submissive can still hear and communicate effectively if playing with sensory deprivation. Be as creative as you want to mimic full sensory deprivation but its really important that both parties can communicate during play.
6) If using bondage furniture & equipment, ensure the equipment is stable and can support the weight and movements of the submissive as they thrash about in the throes of wild passion… or panic.
7) In general, do not do any type of bondage when one, or both, of the partners is not in tip top shape. Don’t be too drunk, or too high, or too anything. Bring your A Game, ok? We have to take care of one another, right?

Bondage & Restraint Techniques

Now I am going to explore some fun Bondage & Restraint Techniques. I am going to list a few toy recs below too. Please note, you all owe Mistress Demi a big thank you because she mentioned to me that it would be great to use amazon links since you can arrange for pick up in order to maintain discretion and privacy.

Basic Rope Bondage (Shibari)

Technique: Start with simple ties like the single column tie for wrists or ankles. Ensure the knots are easy to untie in case of emergencies. Shibari is a Japanese art form that involves intricate and aesthetically pleasing patterns of rope bondage, focusing on both the physical and emotional connection between partners. There are a lot of resources out there is you want to learn more about it too. Check out Shabari Academy to learn some basic right up to advance tie configurations.

Recommendation: I like these silky ropes because they look like really rough rope, but don’t actually cause rope burns because as sadistic as I am, I do not like opening the skin. Our skin is our body’s largest organ and designed to protect us from the filthy world around us- I strive to keep that intact…. if not a bit transformed as I paint you pretty for me. But these ropes are made of cotton and are so soft and comfy.

Using Handcuffs or Restraints

Technique: Invest in padded cuffs to prevent discomfort. Attach cuffs to a sturdy surface or each other to limit movement. Make sure you don’t fasten too tightly and that you check for circulation issues as you move forward with your day.

Recommendation: I really dig this heavy metal yoke restraint from Extreme Restraints.  Gives me a nice handlebar to hold on to and prevents you from use of your hands at all. It is shocking how weak and ineffectual you will feel in one of these, and what a fucking badass I feel plunging my big cock in your warm, waiting mouth- unable to move, or defend yourself against my lusty appetite for your whimpers. Whew, is it getting hot in here? I also like these soft fabric cuffs for rougher play, or this fabric restraints with yoke & ball gag for a tighter fit- yall remember how I feel about breaking the skin, right? Just nice when you want to really get things shaking. Other than that, for handcuffs, fuzzy ones will protect the skin better, and get one with standard keys and a safety release, ok? And there are a ton of options, like this pretty little bondage kit that caught my eye.

Bondage Tape

Technique: This type of tape sticks to itself but not to skin or hair. It can be used to create various restraints without the risk of cutting off circulation. The uses for bondage tape are many- you can use it to tape up a partner in any number of interesting configurations. You can dress up a sissy in slutty, confining clothes. You can have some fantasy hostage/prisoner role play scenarios going. You can tape as little or as much as you want, even going as far as mummification. You can even tape up those genitals and render them useless, though most of them need no help in that arena, at least from the SPHers, yes?

Recommendation: I love this cute bondage tape starter kit cause its got my favorite colors: red, black and purple.  The tape sticks to the tape, but not skin or hair, so its really comfy to wear too.

Blindfolds and Sensory Deprivation

Technique: Use a soft blindfold to heighten other senses. This can enhance the experience of bondage. Its especially good for people who may verge towards being more self conscious and allow you to fully experience every sensation. And sensory deprivation tends to be a really intense experience, because you are giving up autonomy to such a massive degree- you give control over your very senses.

Recommendation: So if you are doing some sensory deprivation including sight and sound, I do have a good option for you- as well as a good reminder. You want to be sure that you and your partner can still communicate, right? But these are a soft fabric blindfold with headphones built in, so instead of being flush against your ears with a seal, its fabric overlaying the top of your ears. Much easier to hear whats going on outside of the earphones, which serves our safety first purposes very nicely, while still limiting your senses. So… AMSR drives me fucking WILD. I want to explore making some of them but need to work on layering sound tracks… I think. Who knew phone hoeing was going to be this technologically advanced? Not I. But I personally like flooding the sensory system so I love using music to help do that- over stimulation can really break down those protective barriers we have to allow for all the psychological benefits discussed earlier. If we are talking about just straight blindfolds, though, I like the ones with the eye cups, like these, so that when you do take them off your vision isnt all blurry and whatnot.

Furniture and Equipment

Technique: There is a truly wild amount of BSDM furniture available, and innumerable uses for them. All I can really say is take a look around and see what’s out there, because there isnt one cohesive theme to discuss regarding all the options available. I did, however, pick out a few favorites to discuss with you.

Recommendation: Utilize BDSM bondage furniture such as a St. Andrew’s cross or for a more cost effective but similar set up, try this door frame bondage restraint system. I also really liked this portable table one bondage table– the set up reminds me of gym mats, but its super discreet, portable, and WAY more cost effective than a lot of the other things out there. And it offers a lot of different configurations and options. I very much want to invest in toys that can be used in as many ways as possible. Im a little bargain shopper, lol. To be honest, I will say this- a lot of this stuff is WAY over priced and the acts, positions, and sensations can all be approximated by less costly options if you know what you are looking for. I am always available for consultation for that too- I truly have a great ability to ferret out information I am looking for so if you give me parameters I can probably assist with that. I will likely put a couple of links for some starter packs and bundles- that’s how I roll. I work hard for my money, and you do too- no reason for either of us to throw it away to some bloated corporation. I mean, if you want to throw your money away… well, I can think of much more fun way to do it.

Check out these introductory kits for the most bang for your buck! 

BEST VALUE: Epic 34 Piece BDSM Bondage & Toy Kit $46.98

EASIEST SET UP: BDSM Bondage & Restraint Kit for Bed $19.99

CUTEST SET: Sexy Leather Bondage Bundle $156.54

A GOOD FUCKING TIME: Adjustable Spreader Set $142.49

Alright, next up I want to discuss some spicy intersections with how you can incorporate bondage and restraint into other fetish play.

Bondage & Restraints Playtime Suggestions

To enhance the bondage experience, consider integrating other kinks and fetishes. Here are some ideas, but please know, the sky is your limit:

Role Play Scenarios

Combine bondage with role play, such as prey/predator, victim/criminal, teacher/student or doctor/patient dynamics. This adds an extra layer of psychological excitement, at least for me. I very much have the ability to sink deeply within my mind to experience my fantasies as reality. Sometimes a bit too deep, if we are honest.

Temperature Play

Introduce ice cubes or warm oils during bondage to heighten sensory experiences. This can create contrasting sensations that enhance pleasure, and add to the anticipation of not knowing what is coming next, the mind fuck of it all.

Impact Play

Incorporate spanking or flogging while the submissive is restrained. This can intensify the experience and create a thrilling combination of sensations. It also can heighten the surrender to the pain experience, which believe it or not, will make you so much more comfortable taking pain.

Tease and Denial

While the submissive is restrained, engage in teasing to build anticipation, lust, and desperation. There are pretty much unlimited options in how to accomplish this when your partner is strapped down, unable to resist all those yummy sensations. For submissives, you can actually use this as a way to level up on your orgasm training too, to ensure you can last as long as your dominant wants you to.

Incorporating Fetishes

Integrate other fetishes such as body worship, wax play or latex clothing into bondage scenarios to create a more personalized experience. I personally have used the Queening Chair with Restraints from Extreme Restraints and bitch, its a good fucking time.

The Satisfaction of Dominants in Bondage Play

For dominants, engaging in bondage and restraint play can be equally fulfilling. Here’s how:

Fulfillment of Caretaking Roles

– Dominants often find satisfaction in the caretaking aspect of bondage, ensuring their partner’s safety and comfort while exploring boundaries.

Power Exchange Dynamics

– The act of tying up a submissive can be a powerful expression of control, which many dominants find exhilarating and fulfilling.

Witnessing Submissive Pleasure

– Seeing a submissive experience pleasure, trust, and vulnerability can be deeply rewarding for a dominant partner, reinforcing their bond.

Creative Expression

-Bondage and restraint offer dominants a canvas for creative expression, allowing them to explore different techniques, scenarios, and dynamics.

Emotional Intimacy

Engaging in bondage can deepen emotional and physical connections between partners, enhancing overall relationship satisfaction.

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