Hey beta boys, thanks for swinging by. We are exploring the socio-sexual hierarchy in this article companion to the 5/31 episode of KINKology: the psychology of kink, entitled “Beta Boys & Other Such Losers“. Whose ready to learn about themselves? Yay! Please note that I will be covering the entire socio-sexual hierarchy but will spend the most time in the alpha/beta dynamics, as they are the most popularized and relevant to us kinksters. I am sourcing the following article entitled “What is the Socio Sexual Hierarchy” from menverse.com.

What is the socio-sexual hierarchy?

“The socio sexual hierarchy is a hierarchy that recognizes a man’s position in the society based on traits, behavioral patterns and level of competence.” (Bhatt, What Is the Socio Sexual Hierarchy)

It was developed by Vox Day, also known as Theodore Robert Beale, in the 80s… and let me make one thing clear about good ole teddy here. Teddy is a cunt. He is a known misogynist, white supremacist- just utterly cunty from the tippy top of his head down to his little white supremacist toes. Just so everyone knows where I stand here. And I have some of my own thoughts on improving his hierarchy, as well. Hope he fucking hates them, cunt that he is. Also, his particular theory was based on the wolf pack theory- the dominance of the alpha male- which has been largely debunked and revised. Turns out that wolves operate as unit- somewhat led by a couple, and these fights for dominance over the pack are massively rare, so rare that it functionally does not exist. The original theory was based on observation of packs who were captured and caged, not ones in the wild, so what was observed was akin to what is observed in prisons- where caged men with no connection to one another vie for dominance under duress, caged, and controlled… and not even in the fun way! BOO!

Let’s explore some of these socio-sexual positions in our hierarchal ladder.

SIMGA MALES 

First up, let’s start with the outlier… literally. Sigma males, as a part of the definition of sigma males, fall OUTSIDE of the hierarchy. They are the lone wolves- the charming yet detached males who are successful when they chose to be… but for the most part, they have no interest in developing and utilizing social currency within the hierarchy. They would be considered to be on the same level as alpha males & zeta males. Some adjectives we would use to describe a sigma male would be successful, confident, independent, risk taking, comfortable being alone, and goal focused over relationship focused. Some challenges they may face would include loneliness, isolation, difficulty with commitment, difficulty with relationships overall as they can come off as aloof or arrogant. Now they present with dominance, but it’s almost an intellectual dominance over an aggressive type of dominance like we see in the alphas.

ALPHA MALES

Next up- at the tippy top of our hierarchy (remember, our sigma males fall completely outside the hierarchy altogether, but would share the top tier with the alphas, should they care to do so. Spoiler alert: they don’t. So alpha males are considered to be the ideal male according to the cunty Vox Day. They are dominant, confident, self assured, take charge guys who present with charisma and magnetism.

So, within toxic male philosophy, its viewed that alphas would be considered the most sexually desired. Because that’s essentially what the hierarchy susses out- how well you do at getting pussy. That’s what happens when we let misogynists create the sexual hierarchies, guys. When have men NOT fucked everything up? Like name one time, lol. From a misogynist’s point of view, men who dominate through aggression and talk over others and are cocky- the strong men sort- women just love this type of guy, right? Women need to have a big strong man because they have nothing but silly girl brains and need to be led around like a fucking pet instead of a human being. The myth of the idea that an aggressive, selfish, bossy, controlling man melts the hearts, and wets the panties, of women everywhere is a bit wonky for several reasons. Now, I want to make it clear that this is a read of Vox Day’s kind of “red-pilled bitch boy” approach to alpha males as these dominant dickheads.

But now lets evaluate a current understanding of what a true alpha is, ok? Maybe dispel some of the more toxic myths that the fucking patriarchy have shoved down your thoughts, ok? So just so we are completely clear- I don’t object to the concept of an alpha- I object to this misogynistic, little bitchboy version of what constitutes an alpha male. As discussed above, the foundation of the alpha male was rather debunked- or rather the inspiration for the alpha male, which was the alpha wolf, was debunked in terms of how they actually behave in the wild when they are free. Which is, ironically enough, so appropriate for discussing the theory of the toxic version of the alpha male that was raised within the patriarchy, yes?

To be an alpha, you must be socially competent and have a great degree of influence over people, right? Alphas are socially skilled. They are able to lead with persuasion, not force. They demonstrate humility, grace, are trustworthy so people are willing to follow their lead, they are empathetic so they can truly connect with people, they are respectful, grateful, etc. I think back to the saying “Talk softly but carry a big stick”. They have the ability to defend, but from the onset, their mindset is focused on collaborative, community affirming solutions over aggression. Now some of the same holdovers remain- they are confident, assertive, willing to state their minds, decisive decision makers with quick brains who are strategic (and not for nothing, traditionally toxic alpha males are more known for bluster than strategy).

I will address one last thing with the toxic vs modern understanding of alphas. With all due disrespect, if you are a misogynist, you are nothing but a sad little bitchboy who is afraid, fearful and intimated by the inherent power of women. Alpha males don’t dominate their mates- they empower them, elevate them, uplift them. This notion of having to hold power over women is born of weakness, not strength- and the conception that leadership is aggression is why we are in the fucking mess we are currently in globally. This is simply a lie that has been told to the masses by weakass, scared, cowardly pussy boys. If you are unable to rule without violence, without intimidation, without respect and empathy, you aren’t a leader, YOU ARE A BITCH. If you cannot put the needs of others before your desires, you are a fucking bitchass and deserve no place in leadership. I’m tired of seeing this somewhat honorable behavioral position, and honorable masculinity overall, take the backseat to this trash ass version of it. 

Alright, rant over…for now.

So, I am skipping over beta boys and will cover them last, since they are really the topic of the entire article. It’s ok, though. They are used to being passed over, aren’t they? They are the second level of the hierarchy though.

ZETA MALES 

This is the newest addition to the socio-sexual hierarchy. Unlike the Alpha, they may be a bit more introverted, education, intelligence oriented than the alpha. They essential present like a sigma- nonconformist, assertive, freedom seekers, loner types but due to their circumstances (lower socioeconomic status, social pressures and limited opportunities) they begin to fight the system for change.  Unlike the sigma, they don’t detach from social influences- they stay and fight to make changes, even though they themselves don’t really need the social system to thrive based on their personality. Think of an archetypal version of the Black Panthers from back in the day: nonconformist, strong, assertive individuals who likely would not have needed that level of community or engagement WITHIN THE SYSTEM except for their circumstances- the injustices they faced. That is what made these guys form that level of a cohesive community to fight this injustice and remain that forward facing in society. Zeta & Alpha are on the same rung of the ladder of the hierarchy, btw. And sigmas would be too, except for they have to be all “unique” about it.

DELTA MALES 

Alright delta males are considered to be fairly balanced individuals. They don’t seek dominance, but also don’t submit. They tend to be social chameleons, able to fluidly navigate social situations. They are middle of the pack sorts, not overly ambitious, content, safe type of fellows. The biggest drawbacks of delta males is they are not the most exciting guys, they do sometimes let their contentment lead to complacency, but they tend to be a great pick for the normies, you know? Not sure if many kinksters would be content with this type of male, unless they got a bit of strange strange (my term for kinky cheating, lol).

GAMMA MALES

These guys are intelligent, sensitive but lack assertiveness, though more assertive than a beta male, socially awkward, and they struggle to fit in a bit. They tend to be conflict & risk aversive and struggle a bit with self-esteem. They are also self-aware and generally decent sort of guys, who live by a moral code.

OMEGA MALES

And finally, Omega males make up the bottom rung of the hierarchy and are kinda viewed as society’s outcasts. They are traditionally thought to lack the social skills to form meaningful relationships and connections, but this isn’t really the case. They do tend to be more apt to form a few deep and meaningful relationships over many casual relationships. But they are often independent thinkers, ok with solitude, likely fall a bit to the introverted side of things, and don’t particularly want to challenge the alpha as they don’t really care where they rank. They don’t care about social status, don’t want to lead and sure af don’t want to follow. They may also be a bit irreverent, which I happen to think of as a great quality. We need a bit of irreverence in today’s society- shake things up a bit.

BETA BOYS 

And that brings us back to rung #2, with the beta boys.

Beta boys prefer the comfort of following the alphas to the discomfort of making any decisions. They struggle to make assertive demands and can be thought of as the “simps” of the sexual hierarchy. They follow the orders of the alpha, they avoid confrontation, they are good little soldiers, carrying out the orders of their leader. They are the passive ones in the hierarchy, the push overs, they lack charisma, they tend to have low self esteem, lack assertive and are servile. And of course-0 this covers the pop culture use of the term, right? Also likely the fetish version, with the weakass beta bitches who love to be demeaned and degraded. And far be it for me to counter this version, as I have seen the pathetic beta boys slurp up their cummies for me, beat their cockmeat with wooden spoons for my amusement.. all manner of utterly filthy, depraved behaviors that suggest that they are exactly that- weak cowards who need a strong hand to rule them. But when we step outside the context of the sexual realm, and especially the kink realm, we know that they are more than this, dont we?

CLOSING THOUGHTS 

So listen, I am going to give you a more balanced perspective on the beta male dynamic, ok? The humiliation sluts are likely going to be pouty little bitches, but you’ll get yours too, I promise. But its genuinely important to me that we do create an authentic, supportive space here on KINKology, that we get truly curious about some of these dynamics, and on a more personal note- I have some concerns with the way some of these beta bitches view themselves- how what should be a fun, fulfilling, sexy dynamic can be twisted into a dehumanizing experience that is harmful to my poor beta boys.

So once again, erotic humiliation is so lovely, and we speak contextual truths- the sexual truths that strip the humanity of the individual… and then, once our needs have been slaked, we step out of the sexual and back into our humanity, where the truth is that all human beings have value. Its really important to me that any of you sweet subby bitches out there who genuinely feel worthless start to work on developing an ability to step into different perspectives (like facets on a diamond, viewing the same thing from as many perspectives as you can to understand the truth of what your eyes see). Our beta boys are followers, loyal soldiers who fulfill the orders of their alphas, cooperative, supportive, empathetic, great listeners, and essentially are the worker bees that will fill up our communities once the gynarchy is in place. They are humble, team players, and are able to access vulnerability (which is a total power position imho- in a very different way than we think of it). At some point, I will do a deep dive into vulnerability, the raw power behind it, but just because our beta boys don’t have traditional access to power, don’t think they are left completely defenseless. They access power in different ways- aligning themselves with powerful alphas who protect and direct them, ensuring they are able to reach their highest potential under the watchful eyes of their dominant. They carry within them the power and courage of vulnerability and willingness to expose their softness. It’s a power that is not given the respect it is rightly due under the patriarchy- but that’s why it’s important to me to highlight it here- so we can start to dismantle it.

Additionally, your submissiveness is a gift and a treasured one. At the risk of taking the sweet suffering our humiliation sluts away completely, you are the yin to my yang, the peanut butter to my jelly- beta boys serve alphas, and this alpha female is wildly glad that you do. My life is improved by your service to me. I can safely, comfortably, and gleefully be who I am when you can safely, comfortably, and gleefully be who you are, beta boy.

I will leave you with a poem on this matter that I hope provides you a bit of comfort regarding your place in the sexual hierarchy- Wild Geese by Mary Oliver.

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place

Listen to the Full Episode 

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