Here are some fun ideas for you to consider pursuing on your own this Masturbation May. With no further ado…

1. Create a self-love ritual each morning to start your day with confidence. I have spoken at length regarding rituals, how they use symbolism to transform the mundane into the sacred, how they transform your mind space. Consider incorporating some self love rituals into your mornings.

2. Try new techniques you’ve never explored before, which may mean you have to seek out new experiences. Read about masturbation techniques, talk to friends, or talk to a long distance domination mistress if you really want to get some new fapping material.

3. Invest in quality toys that excite and inspire you. Toys have completely transformed and there is a lot of different options at this point. I am a huge fan of lovense long distance sex toys because I love controlling people remotely, having them at my every whim with no control over the next sensation. It’s positively exhilarating

4. Write a love letter to your own body, appreciating what it does. Does this sound hokey? Maybe. Could there be an erotic experience for you to enjoy encapsulated within this simple act of appreciation of the body that allows you to reach the pinnacle of ecstasy? Also, maybe.

5. Practice mindful masturbation, focusing on each sensation. Mindful Masturbation and JOI is having a bit of a moment as one of the emerging trends for 2024, and in large part I think it has to do with the electrifying and almost exponential impact of sensations when you give them your attention and energy. My personal experience as a professional masturbatrix is that men, in particular, respond very well to a sensual stroking experience because they oftentimes have never allowed themselves the luxury of exploring their bodies sensually, through their five senses.

6. Set a daily goal for self-pleasure—no pressure, just fun! This is great if you want a little extra dopamine with your orgasms too, as you check it off the list. It also ensures that you prioritize self pleasure on this the holiest of self pleasuring months

7. Share your journey with trusted friends. Listen, I truly love talking about sex and feel that every time we do, we break down that wall of propriety that frankly bores me. On a personal note, I truly believe that the point of life is to see and be seen, to known and be known and to understand and be understood. I think that every time we are authentic and vulnerable with another human being, we lean into that spiritual mission.

8. Create a playlist of your favorite seductive tunes for self pleasure. Music makes me feel so fucking erotic and sensual and I often seduce myself with pretty little songs in my solo sessions. Actually, if you do end up doing this one, email it to me at becky@enchantrixempire.com

9. Set up a luxurious bath beforehand, or even during, for extra physical relaxation. Also, it makes for a very easy clean up, if you know what I mean.

10. Explore different locations in your home for variety. Explore every nook and cranny, creating new sexy memories all over your sanctuary, which can tease you so delightfully as you carry out the mundane tasks of life there.

11. Dress up for yourself—lingerie, or something special. Sissy girls can attest how much transforming the outer can transform the inner experience. Dress your sexy ass up and celebrate!

12. Try orgasm denial or edging for heightened sensations. Edging and gooning can revolutionize your masturbation game, folks. We become less focused on the destination and just enjoy the journey. It can also heighten the sensations to truly magical heights. Know why they call it gooning, loves? Because your brain just goons out after a while, you become mindless with pleasure.

13. Use visualization techniques for more intense pleasure. I’ve mentioned this technique before in the sex magic episode, which can help you accomplish something desired….but did I mention that visualization can also heighten your pleasure? No? Silly me. You should give it a whirl. It can be anything you want. Imagine yourself as a volcano and with your orgasm feel the hot molten lava pour from your body. Visualize it happening in your mind’s eye. And then all you have to do is savor the experience.

14. Practice breathing exercises during masturbation. Deep breathing can actually influence orgasms in several ways. By promoting relaxation and reducing tension, it helps calm the nervous system, which can enhance sexual arousal and make orgasms feel more intense. Additionally, deep breathing increases oxygen flow, improving circulation and sensitivity in erogenous zones. Many people find that focused breathing during intimacy helps them stay present, prolongs arousal, and can lead to more satisfying or multiple orgasms

15. Discover new erogenous zones to awaken new pleasure points. Listen, I have two absolutely CRAZY erogenous zones- my neck just below my ear, and my hip just above the swell of my ass. These two spots produce the craziest sensations- I can have screaming orgasms from the lightest of touches, sometimes even the touch of breath. If I hadn’t had a lover who explored every inch of my body, I may have been denied that pleasure my entire life. Explore it all, people. Know thyself, yes?

16. Create a sensual self-care night including massage and lotion. I am wildly responsive to touch- pretty sure its my love language. I have a massage gun & massage rollers, and when I want to be truly indulgent, I will make a night of making myself feel good. Bath, scented lotion head to toe, massage, and then I make sweet, sweet love to myself. And my bitches, I am GOOD in bed, if I do say so myself.

17. Read erotic literature to enhance arousal. Once I discovered dark romance, whew boy, I had some great literature inspired bean flicking sessions, I will say that much. I’ve often found men are more visual and woman are more mental and so the smut works wonders with the ladies. But gentlemen, there is something to be said with being able to create your own idealized mental images to suit your exact tastes. Give smut a chance, ok?

18. Video record your solo sessions for fun reflections later. Make a self love movie, and work on perfecting it. Then you have a little something something in your dating arsenal as well, you know? Send along a very painstakingly produced movie with all the bells and whistles and see what happens, yes?

19. Try kink or role-play scenarios safely and playfully, all by your lonesome. So listen, I will say this- my particular flavor of autism makes me very dramatic and theatrical and my sweet little ass puts on one women shows constantly. I also intentional keep this a shame free space for mew to play with, which keeps things in the Becky household quite spicy and fun and free. So while there is a surface embarrassment in mentioning that I literally talk to myself and answer, I think that it is fun enough to warrant the self disclosure.

20. Join online femdom communities for inspiration and encouragement. We are incredibly lucky to have enchantrixempire.net as a community, aas well as our EE discord server, full of accepting, kinky people who love to revel in our mutual filth. If you have listened to me for any length of time, you will know that I truly believe our sexuality is a container to explore life itself, so I think that we are doing important spiritual work together as quaint and hokey as that may sound.

21. Set a “pleasure alarm” to remind you to check in with yourself. This is an especially good tip for people who need an assist to prioritize pleasure or who have a self pleasure goal- for themselves or one imposed by their mistress.

22. Use scented candles or oils to enhance the mood. I am incredibly sensitive to scent and it can transform my mood faster than just about anything. Protip: if you associate your self pleasure with a specific scent, you can start to create a Pavlovian reaction to the candle, becoming aroused at the very scent of it.

23. Try feather ticklers or soft textures for added sensation. I have two gorgeous feathers perched atop my headboard just for the occasional fun. I love the sensation of feathers tickling their way down my tummy, down my thighs. Plus, sidenote, they make for really pretty decorations too. Win win!

24. Create a self-pleasure journal to track your preferences and growth. There’s an old saying- things not written down are just wishes. If you want to reach the pinnacle of self pleasuring then start keeping a pleasure journal. I actually have a Lioness vibrator, which tracks the body temperature and my contractions and gives me an actual visual of my orgasms. It really gave me some great information, such as having much more intense orgasms in the morning than at night. Now I reserve nighttime self love for a sleeping aid, mostly, and save my really intense sessions for the morning.

25. Experiment with different speeds and pressures. If you are anything like me, you enjoy your creature comforts and that can sometimes translate into getting in a rut. I know how to make myself cum so efficiently, that sometimes I forget that I can switch it up for more intense or just plain different sensations. Be mindful and intentional about switching things up this masturbation may to get the most out of it.

26. Celebrate your body’s curves and quirks with compliments, praise and affirmations. Shame isn’t sexy and doesn’t make us feel sexy. Celebrate your body this Masturbation May and feel how it responds to all your loving kindness.

27. Incorporate sensory play for an explosive solo session. This could include anything from music to ASMR to porn to tasting yourself, smelling yourself. Our five senses are the ways in which we interact with our world, and mindfully incorporating sensory play into your self love time will render some impressive results.

28. Play with temperature—items warm or cold for sensation. Another specific form of sensory play that deserved its own shout out is temperature play. Use an ice cube, icy hot, or heating massage lotions to amp up your self love routine.

29. Use long distance sex toys such as lovense, and take advantage of their community. Lovense actually has a thriving community of like minded perverts who are happy to control your toy for a nice sexual surprise. You can create your own patterns, use patterns created by others, find playmates there, etc. But of course, you can also just beg your long distance domination mistress to control your cage for you.

30. Recreate your favorite solo scene from a porn. There is something so exciting about being the star in your own movie, even if it is just in your imagination. Plus, our brains love familiarity- its why we have things like comfort tv shows and comfort foods. Using a familiar clip and recreating it can duplicate that effect as well.

31. Incorporate erotic fantasies into your solo time. This is the time to let those creative juices flow, among other things. You can utilize erotica, erotic audios, session with a virtual mistress such as myself, or even just use your own imagination to create the ultimate fantasy. And as you do, remember: shame has no home here.

32. Treat yourself to a new massage oil or lubricant. Sometimes the slightest, smallest change can result in some impressive sensations and lube is a deeply personal experience for us, isn’t it? But I have noticed that many times we will simply find an acceptable option and stop exploring altogether and with so many different sensations, why limit ourself to just one?

33. Learn about your vulva or prostate for better understanding. This is the perfect month to perform a deep dive into your more erogenous zones to see what they are really capable of. Gentlemen, if you want some assistance with prostate milking, you just let me know, yeah?

34. Set a challenge to try something adventurous each week. You’ve heard that we have to keep things interesting in a relationship, and we are no exception to the rule. Be intentional about your masturbatory imagination this month.

35. Create a sexy affirmations to repeat. These affirmations could be about your body, your pleasure, your sex life, your love of self or your divine right to pleasure- anything that you want to shift or reinforce with yourself.

36. Play with the use of dominant or submissive roles in your self-play. Envision yourself masturbating for Mistress’s pleasure, as she looks on with pride, lust or even disdain. Or, conversely, take on the dominant role and tease your own submissive, who is so desperate for you but who cannot have you.

37. Take a solo “safari”—explore every zone of your body. Explore different variations of touching too, soft and gentle like a butterfly’s wing, firm and strong, taps, and bumps and all sorts of fun ways to caress and stroke. Explore them all.

38. Watch or listen to femdom content that excites you or shares information about self pleasure. You dont know what you dont know and you never know what you could learn in a sexy podcast or blog. Plus, you are supporting women owned businesses when you do that, providing you do all the things, download, share, subscribe, etc

39. Shhh! Don’t make a sound. Try removing your ability to make any sound during your solo session, and up the stakes by agreeing to stop the session at the first peep. You’ll find the intensity of that quite interesting, I’m sure.

40. Participate in a virtual femdom session for tips and inspiration, regardless if you are submissive. Femdoms are gifted cockteases and cock connoisseurs and could teach you a thing or two about pleasure.

41. Reward yourself after each session with something special, reinforcing the pleasure cycle with a little extra dopamine. This will also help you priotize pleasure and plus- presents! Woo hoo!

42. Create a vision board for your ultimate masturbation existence. Having a visual reminder of your goals, as well as the things that turn you on, can be used FOR the sessions themselves and also to help manifest the self pleasure experiences of your dreams… literally.

43. Use a mirror to see yourself during masturbation. Listen, this is one that can get uncomfortable for many, but the intensity of that experience can be used to amp up your orgasms. Also it could help to develop self love, body positivity, and confidence if you keep with it. Holding the visual image of your body with the pleasure of an orgasm will associate pleasure with your reflection.

44. Try a new toy, accessory, or technique each week. Variety is the spice of life is more than just a saying- it is a goddamned creed, people.

45. Incorporate sex magic or meditation before or after for a great session… and a great impact on your greater life. I did an entire episode on Sex Magic that I highly recommend that you check out, which will break down the benefits and instructions for that. But meditation also carries great real life benefits, such as reducing stress hormones, improved heart health, better sleep, reduced inflammation, etc.

46. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and fully immersed through a conscious reframing or refutation of any guilt, shame, poor self image, in a manner similar to affirmations. The difference here is that you are affirming the opposite of the negative thought you just experiencing.

47. Use a shame-free, or rather shameless, vocabulary—embrace the pleasure language. Cunt, Pussy, Cock, Fat Juicy Balls, explore getting really filthy with your language and have fun with it. There is something thrilling about breaking social conventions, even when we are by ourselves.

48. Plan a “self-love weekend” sometime during the month, where you prioritize and attend to your sexual health to the best of your ability. I know getting away for an entire weekend may not work for all, so just do what you can. Can’t manage a whole weekend? Try edging once an hour, less sleeping time, for 2 days for a truly explosive release.

49. Play blindfolded or play with light bondage and restraints for heightened senses. Removing sight or touch will intensify your experience with your other senses for a very satisfying experience.

50. Explore sensual massage techniques on yourself. Invest some time in getting a full body buzz before you even get close to your genitals.

51. Attend workshops or talks on sexual empowerment, if you are an individual who is more restrained and want to break free of propriety or if you are an intellectualizer who needs the mental stimulation before you get… otherwise stimulated.

52. Create a designated “pleasure alter” in your home that hones in on sexual symbolism that you find powerful and arousing. Its rather a case of creating symbolic space in our life by creating actual space in our life for ourselves. As they say, build it.. and you will cum.

53. Explore apps that guide solo masturbation sessions, such as Ferly, Quinn or Guided By Glow.

54. Celebrate your orgasm milestones—big or small with rewards and incentives. Self pleasure should be fun and it should be a literal GOAL that we work on… quite regularly. One of the best ways to achieve our goals is to celebrate our successes.

55. Write a story, poem or song about your solo experiences. Creativity and self expression are sexy as fuck, and combining the act of creation with the act of self pleasure can lead to some very interesting places.

56. Watch masturbation pornos to get tips on self pleasure from the literal pros. Look for techniques, strokes, pressure, positions, new areas to play with.

57. Create a luxury masturbation kit — include silk sheets, oils, toys, lubes, everything you need for a perfect masturbation session.

58. Practice “intentional masturbation”—focus on gratitude or self love or body positivity. Its like cumming for a cause, you know? It adds an extra layer and can genuinely impact your mood and mental health, to boot.

59. Use your submissive hand during play. I know, I know, we have all probably heard this one before, but it can change your experience enough to warrant its place on this list.

60. Revisit old fantasies and see how they’ve evolved. What did you cum to 20 years ago? Bring these old fantasies back into play and see how they may have changed over the years, as you have.

61. Schedule your masturbation like a sacred appointment, a sacred commitment to yourself that cannot be broken rather something unimportant to fit into your life if and when the opportunity arises.

62. Taste yourself. Revel in your unique flavor and aroma. It is a deeply sensual, self affirming experience, and you may just find that you are as delicious to yourself as I am to me.

63. Engage in mirror exercises to embrace your body’s beauty, which is a bit distinct from using the mirror during masturbation. In these exercises, just be overtly sexual and free with yourself to explore your own reflection.

64. Explore sexy ASMR audios during solo play. Put on your blindfold and a headset and listen to some easily available sex ASMR audios and see what fucking happens. I damned near brought the cops to my house one evening playing with the situationship and ASMR. I can’t even fully describe what this did to me, or the effect that it has on me. But it is super powerful, so give it a go.

65. Use BDSM toys for light impact play to explore different sensations. Dont have a flogger or paddle? No worries, wait until you see what a spatula or wooden spoon can do. But I am suggesting some light impact play, softly striking yourself, and experimentation with pressure and force- I am not suggesting a solo hardcore pain play session. I think pain play is best done with two or more people, as things can weirdly get out of hand with solo play. Weirdly you may think the opposite would be true, but being both the pain giver and pain receiver isn’t a great idea. Our brain reacts to pain by flooding our system with feel good chemicals to combat it- that is not a brain that should be running the show with a hardcore pain session.

66. Experiment with role reversal—dom or sub- or role playing scenarios entirely in your mind. I have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to take scenes from my favorite erotica’s and refine them, rewrite them, or create new scenes altogether.

67. Create a sensual “sensory box” with various textures, weight, materials, temperatures, etc to play around with.

68. Hold a personal celebration—a solo “orgasm fest” to see how many orgasms you can have before tapping out. Again, this is one I would love to hear from you about. Guys, can you overcome the refractory period blues with extreme effort? This is the month to try it out, yes?

69. Explore various positions as well as technique and strokes- I personally enjoy riding my vibrator on my tummy. I even top myself, folks. But rub yourself against some furniture, or try a hands free orgasm.

70. Celebrate with a self-porn catharsis—without shame. Become your own porn star and produce a video to keep and share to trusted playmates.

71. Incorporate light spanking into masturbation. We have also touted the benefits of pain play, but wanted to specifically point out that by using your hand you are creating flesh on flesh contact and have better control than with using an implement.

72. Make a mood board to set the mood for solo sessions. You can use the board itself for some fun inspiration during your self love, or you can use the board to create a space like your pleasure alter or to give your bedroom a pleasure focused upgrade.

73. Embrace your unique desires—no judgment, only curiosity. This is more of a mindset tip than a masturbation tip, but invest some time in making sure you have this one down. It will pay off in dividends.

74. Treat yourself to a sensual photoshoot. Dress up in your favorite outfits and become your own solo supermodel in the privacy of your own home before embarking upon a well deserved masturbation session.

75. Use different lighting—dim, colored, candles. This may not be the sexiest of tips but it is a useful one, at least for me. Most of you know that I am neurodivergent, autistic, actually, and I cannot stand harsh lighting. I fixate on lighting and my mood entirely changes according to the lighting. I recently got some of those new smart lightbulbs that dont need a hub, and now I have full control over my lighting. 1000s of colors to choose from, I can turn the intensity up and down. Really easy to operate too.

76. Explore different moods and mindsets—romantic, rebellious, playful. You can become your own internal cast of characters and spice up your self love sex life. I like to imagine I have an audience and then do what I do best- entertain.

77. Create an erotic striptease to a sensual song, and bonus points if you record it. But I was a stripper and let me tell you this much, I have gotten myself off on stage before and nothing feels better than cumming and strumming to the beat of a sensual song.

78. Paint or draw what feelings or sensations arise. This may not be for everyone, but I find creativity to be very sexy and enjoy exploring my sexuality from all angles. This is a great way to increase your mindfulness and sensuality regarding your pleasure, as you explore the embodied experience of sex with yourself.

79. Dance or move freely to your favorite music before or after. In contrast to your strip tease, this is fully organic and freestyle, just moving your body in ways that feel good. Avoid a mirror at this time- this isn’t about how you look, its about how you feel.

80. Read about sexual types or archetypes to understand your desires. I have written and discussed archetypes extensively and am no where near done on the subject, so like it or not, KINKology listeners, I will be giving you an earful. But the value of exploring yourself in relation to the world, exploring these formative and common shades of humanity, is great, both for your sex life as you learn to embody these various sexual archtypes, but also your greater life in general.

81. Create an erotic fantasy scene in your mind based on your favorite scenarios. Be as detailed as possible. Describe what you see, what you taste, what you hear, and most of all, describe what you feel in that scene.

82. Explore cross-dressing or gender role play solo. And I mean this for anybody, not just the transgender folks or the sissy girls alone. Cis gender guys- this one is for you. There is a true sensuality in embodying your opposite gender, and the experience of womanhood is incredibly powerful and sensual in and of itself. I think you should try it, especially if its out of your comfort zone.

83. Practice visibility—look at yourself confidently during orgasm. Now I have included mirror work in this list several times, but this time, I want you to focus on your face during orgasm. There can be a sensitivity to that face with partners that inhibits your response. If we can pair your experience of your own orgasm face with pleasure, we may be able to break that sensitivity for you.

84. Enjoy some “slow sex”— deliberate and extended pleasure. Don’t think about the orgasm- matter of fact- set the clock for an hour and let yourself drift off in sensation for an hour. The eventual orgasm will be incredible.

85. Reflect on your Masturbation May journey in your journal. What self respecting therapist could leave journaling off any list? But reflecting on your pleasure journey can perfect your practice and yield yummy rewards